Thursday, July 17, 2008

Since when were pup tents the latest fashion? (Friday, November 09, 2007)

Please make sure that you are not fat, ugly, trashy and encased in a giant black tent before you snip at your target's choice in clothes. This may cause her to hold her breath till she closes her car door, then burst out laughing.
True Story
Yesterday, as I was walking out of Grant School, wearing nice gray dress pants, and one of those new shirts that come with a matching belt, a very large woman glanced at me while getting out of her 1980's model piece-o-shit Honda. She then snorted very loudly and said "belts go on HIPS." Then she smiled as if satisfied. She must have thought I was insulted. I almost, ALMOST said something back to her. Something like "You may not like the way I dress but I can change clothes when I get home. You're a fat ugly bitch and thats sad." Or, as my kick-ass mom suggested, "Belts go on hips? Well, fat goes on hogs." BUT, for the sake of professionalism, I didn't say anything. When I got to my car I started laughing hysterically. Just what did she think she was accomplishing? Three other people had given me COMPLIMENTS on my outfit that day. Now, I realize not everyone likes the same styles of clothing that I do, but what kind of person just walks up to a complete stranger and tells them they're dressed the wrong way? ESPECIALLY a person that isn't exactly dressed to the nines themselves? She was wearing a giant black...thing. I assume it was a shirt. Many small children could probably play under it if it was draped over a few chairs. It had a pretty big hole near the hem. Under this she wore jeans so tight they actually gave her cankle muffin tops. She had very pimply, picked-at looking skin. Her hair was lank, and bleached blond with about two inches of black roots showing. If that is the latest fashion, I'd rather stick with my belted shirts and blazers. Thanks for the fashion advice, beotch. I won't be taking it!

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