Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Watch this.

Please excuse my language, I've been trying not to swear so much, but Obama is a sick bastard. He supports this. This video made me cry. What is wrong with people? Is this what our world is coming to? Please watch.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Things that piss me off about atheists (Wednesday, February 13, 2008)

Things that piss me off about atheists:
The fact that some of them think it makes them smarter or more "intellectual" than believers for whatever reason I don't know.
When they wear CROSSES.
When they celebrate Christmas and Easter and other CHRISTIAN holidays. They claim to not believe in God but they want food and presents.
*I'm not intending to insult those of other faiths, however, it is offensive to me when people insult my faith.
Thats all, really...

Curves (Sunday, January 13, 2008)

Lets get one thing straight. I'm a woman with curves. Yes, I am slender, but I have breasts and hips. When I say I have "curves" it does not mean I am overweight. It does not mean I have a curved beer gut. It doesn't even mean that I have meaty arms and legs. It just means I have a feminine shape. What drives me crazy is that when you say "woman with curves" people automatically seem to think of overweight women. Yeah, okay, some women who are overweight still have a feminine shape and carry it well, but others who call themselves "curvy" have no shape whatsoever except in their protruding stomach. So, I was watching "Made" with my mom before I came home yesterday, and there was this extremely overweight girl who wanted to be a dancer. She kept saying "I'm a woman with curves!" She had hardly any breasts and her hips were nonexistent, but she did have some extra her gut! In her thighs that rubbed together enough to make a campfire! But in no way would I call her a woman with curves. And to make matters worse she bitched and moaned all the while that she was doing her excercises to shape up for dance. Ugh! I can't believe the people that get put on television! If you get an opportunity to be on a TV show and taught by professionals to fulfill your dreams, do not bitch about it! Sorry, I know I'm probably being superficial and mean like always but honestly, why make excuses for yourself? At one point (a very short one) in my life I gained a few extra pounds. So, do you know what I did? I didn't bitch and moan every time I had to move. No. I acquired some exercise equipment and a new and improved set of eating habits. Am I completely satisfied with the results? Not always. But most of the time I feel more than adequate. Honestly, I have no discrimination against overweight people. Some people are overweight and perfectly happy about it. Thats really cool. Confidence rocks. But if you're dissatisfied and insecure with your shape, don't make excuses for yourself! And don't call yourself a woman with curves if the only feminine part of your body is your vagina....
Anyways, that will be all for now. I should really quit watching Made. It always pisses me off.

The best song I ever sang in high school (Thursday, December 13, 2007)

OK, I know this is random, but I have this favorite song that I did for a solo at festival my junior year. I absolutely love it, in all its creepy glory, but it really is the most beautiful song ever...and I'm not usually one to like opera. But anyway, if anyone can think of an appropriate time for me to perform this song again, please let me know. (I know, I'm weird. I've heard it before.)
These are the lyrics:

The sun has fallen and it lies in blood.
The moon is weaving bandages of gold.
Oh, black swan.
Where oh where has my lover gone?
Torn and tattered is my bridal gown.
And my lamp is lost.
And my lamp is lost.
With silver needle and with silver thread,
The stars weave a shroud for the dying sun.
Oh, black swan.
Where oh where has my lover gone?
I had given him a kiss of fire,
And a golden ring.
And a golden ring.
Have you heard your lover moan?
Eyes of glass and feet of stone.
Shells for teeth and weeds for tongue.
Deep deep down in the river's bed,
He searches for the ring
Eyes wide open.
Never asleep.
He searches for the ring.
Searches for the ring.
The spools unravel and the needles break.
The sun is buried and the stars weep.
Oh black wave, oh black wave,
Take me away with you.
I will share with you my golden hair,
And my bridal crown,
And my bridal crown
Take me down to my wandering lover,
With my child unborn.
With my child unborn.

Since when were pup tents the latest fashion? (Friday, November 09, 2007)

Please make sure that you are not fat, ugly, trashy and encased in a giant black tent before you snip at your target's choice in clothes. This may cause her to hold her breath till she closes her car door, then burst out laughing.
True Story
Yesterday, as I was walking out of Grant School, wearing nice gray dress pants, and one of those new shirts that come with a matching belt, a very large woman glanced at me while getting out of her 1980's model piece-o-shit Honda. She then snorted very loudly and said "belts go on HIPS." Then she smiled as if satisfied. She must have thought I was insulted. I almost, ALMOST said something back to her. Something like "You may not like the way I dress but I can change clothes when I get home. You're a fat ugly bitch and thats sad." Or, as my kick-ass mom suggested, "Belts go on hips? Well, fat goes on hogs." BUT, for the sake of professionalism, I didn't say anything. When I got to my car I started laughing hysterically. Just what did she think she was accomplishing? Three other people had given me COMPLIMENTS on my outfit that day. Now, I realize not everyone likes the same styles of clothing that I do, but what kind of person just walks up to a complete stranger and tells them they're dressed the wrong way? ESPECIALLY a person that isn't exactly dressed to the nines themselves? She was wearing a giant black...thing. I assume it was a shirt. Many small children could probably play under it if it was draped over a few chairs. It had a pretty big hole near the hem. Under this she wore jeans so tight they actually gave her cankle muffin tops. She had very pimply, picked-at looking skin. Her hair was lank, and bleached blond with about two inches of black roots showing. If that is the latest fashion, I'd rather stick with my belted shirts and blazers. Thanks for the fashion advice, beotch. I won't be taking it!

The "low-maintenance girl" is a MYTH! (Saturday, November 03, 2007)

Ugh. I am so sick of people either telling me I am high-maintenance because I care about my appearance and guys talking about how they want a low-maintenance girl. Its a fucking myth, people! Yeah, I care about my appearance, but I'm not STUCK on it! I wear makeup, fix my hair nicely, take pride in my clothes, and shave my legs. When I wear a bikini I wax as needed. I use lotions and hair conditioners. I work out. So WHAT? It really doesn't take up much of my time. When I'm done prettifying myself in the morning I move on to bigger and better things. Supposedly the low-maintenance girl doesn't care about her appearance at all. Now, I have friends and family members that do not wear makeup and/or have short hair that requires little combing and whatnot, but even they CARE about the way they look. They don't walk out of the house looking unkempt because they don't care. Next time someone calls me high-maintenance, I'm going to ask which girl they would rather spend time with. Me, a girl who showers every day and tries to look nice, or the COMPLETELY low-maintenance girl, who doesn't shower if it will take up valuable time when she could be sleeping, doesn't wear makeup, or wash her hair with anything but soap (hell, she might not even HAVE hair if she's that low-maintenance), or have a skin care routine, or shave ANYTHING, or work out, or care what she eats. Grrr. My boyfriend seems to be dealing well with the fact that I'm "high-maintenance" and really he seems to enjoy going out with me, and has for several years now. So for certain individuals who call me high maintenance, stop being hypocritical. You want to see girls who look feminine and beautiful, but don't care a whit about how they look when they leave the house. Sorry to tell you but such a girl doesn't exist. Even the most naturally beautiful woman in the world has to care a little bit about her appearance. As for me, my "maintenance" routine is not my main concern in life. My main concern in life is the people in it. And if you want any significance in my life, accept me as I am, high-maintenance or not.

The immaturity of society is caused by society itself (Saturday, March 10, 2007)

DISCLAIMER: I wrote this post on Myspace when I was 19, and angry. There is a lot of coarse language. Today I read the most profound article that I have read in a long, long time. Psychologist Hana Estroff Marano is my new hero. Here's why:
"Teens are more competent than we assume, and most of their problems stem from restrictions placed upon them." Bingo. Somebody finally hit the nail on the head.
Now granted, I am 19 years old, no longer placed under many restrictions, but I really felt something when I read this article. I don't respect all teens, but I do respect those who earn it, and those who demand it. A lot of "adults" don't. Why? Because of their age? Or their supposed "incompetence?" Realize that a hundred years ago people were accepted into the "adult" word at a lot younger age and our nation was not nearly so morally bankrupt as it is now.

Marano believes that adolecence is an artificial extension of childhood. We call our children "children" long past puberty. Now childhood extends into the 20's! They say 30 is the new 20, and that is very sad to me. I proudly consider myself an adult at 19. Yes, my parents do send me money when I need it, and I am still in school, but I am goal-oriented, driven, able to take care of myself and experience things without dissolving into a pile of marshmallow fluff, I like to think my state of mind is way past the "teenybopper" mentality.
Marano also brings up the likely consequences of extending childhood. Picture this: your own mind and body telling you that you are an adult while the older adults around you insist you are still a child. This causes anger, depression, aggression, suicide. Why are teens so "fucked up?" Maybe because we expect them to be, maybe because we treat them with little respect. Teenagers are herded around in high schools like cattle, kept from working in any meaningful way, restricting them from having any form of power in the world.
In nonindustrialized societies, teens are integrated into society as soon as they are done with puberty. There is no sign of the "teen turmoil." Some societies don't even have a term for adolescence. When this was brought up in the article, I was taken aback yet unsurprised.
Teens have basically no more rights than infants or small children. IF they spend their own money on a toy, it isn't really theirs. Their parents can take it away at any time. A young person cannot own anything or sign contracts without parental permission. Statistics have shown that the more teens are infantilized, the more restrictions put on them, the more psychopathology they show. Well, DUH! I get Ms. Marano gets a lot of angry letters about this article.
More statistics: Marano and Psychologist Diane Dumas worked out what makes an adult an adult. They came up with 14 areas of competency, including interpersonal skills, handling responsibility, and leadership. They administered tests to adults and teens in several cities around the United States. They found that teens were just as competent and if not, nearly so as "adults" in all 14 areas. Yet when adults were asked to estimate how the teens would score, their estimates were sadly dramatically below what the teens actually scored.
Ah, another question. Marano was asked "If teens are so competent, why do they not show it?"
Some of the things she brought up included:
"What teens do is a small fraction of what they are capable of doing. If you mistreat or restrict them, performance suffers and is extremely misleading." Of course. You beat any person down long enough and they will eventually feel like a failure.
"The teens put before us as examples by say, the music industry tend to appear to be highly incompetent." Good point! Have you seen and HEARD the crap that is on MTV lately? And blaring on KISS FM?
My favorite quote from the article: "There are at least 20 million young people between 17 and 20, and if they are as competent as I think they are, we are just throwing them away." Throwing them away. What a wonderful symbolism to what is happening to the world. Young people infantilized, dehumanized, and discouraged until they believe they are incapable of doing anything meaningful until the age of 30.
Marano brings up the issue of teens and love. She believes that teens can experience the love that adults experience. They change partners more because they are warehoused together with the other children in the pen, and told that it is puppy love and not real. This brings in the "friends with benefits" phenomenon. Assuming that they are unable to feel love while they also have strong sexual urges, teens act sexually irresponsible. What we should be telling teens is that they are fully capable of long-term relationships if that is what they want. This could very possibly bring down the number of teens having sex with multiple partners.
Basically Marano was saying in the article that what teens need is freedom to join the adult world based on competency, not the "magic age." And when I think about it, by the time I was 15 or 16 that was all I wanted. All I ever dreamed of. But I didn't get it, so I caused a little trouble.
Here is a list of restrictions put on teens since 1968 (Comments in parentheses are mine.):

1968: Movie rating system established to restrict young people from certain films. (Okay, so five-year-olds probably shouldn't be watching The Hills Have Eyes, but when I was 14 that movie wouldn't have disturbed me any more than it does now.)
1970s: Dramatic increase of involuntary Electro Shock Therapy of teens. (Now this is a load of crap. Not only is EST cruel but no one should be allowed to do that to someone without their permission.)
1980s: Many cities and states pass laws restricting teens' access to arcades and other places of amusement. Supreme Court upholds such laws in 1989. (This is outrageous. Weren't amusement parks and arcades designed for "children?")
1980s: Courts uphold states' right to prohibit sale of lottery tickets to minors. (I don't understand this at all. Why is it such a bad thing for a teen to win the lottery?)
1980 to 1988: Rate of involuntary commitment of minors to mental institutions increases 300-400 percent. (Oh yeah, like WBI? The shit that goes on in there is dehumanizing and psychologically damaging.)
1984: First national law effectively raising the drinking age to 21. (I never agreed with this. My parents don't even agree with this. If someone at 18 can join the military and get blown up in Iraq they should certainly be allowed to sit in a bar and have a beer with a friend, or (gasp!) party once in awhile.)
1988: Supreme Court denies freedom of the press to school newspapers. (What exactly are they afraid of being printed in these newspapers? Basically, if a school administration has an opposing viewpoint, the article doesn't get printed.)
1989: Missouri court upholds school's right to prohibit dancing. (Dancing? DANCING? Is that what they are concerned with? Dancing is wonderful, healthful, athletic. Dancing should be embraced in schools.)
1990s: Curfew laws for young people sweep cities and states. (Why the hell does it matter what time someone gets home? If there must be a curfew, that should be for the family to decide!! I never had one, because by the time I was old enough to drive my parents for the most part trusted my decision making skills!)
1990s: Dramatic increase in use of security systems in schools. (Now I understand this was backlash from Columbine and all that. But in my school I was told my nail file was a weapon. A nail file. Uh, funny.)
1992: Federal law prohibits sale of tobacco products to minors. (They will get someone else to buy them cigarettes anyway and if they want to kill themselves slowly why should it be anyones business but theirs.)
1997: New federal law makes easier involuntary commitment of teens. (See above comment about WBI. This makes me angry.)
2000's: New laws restricting minor's rights to get tattoos, piercings, and to enter tanning salons. (Okay, first of all, its YOUR body, not your parents'. A tattoo or piercing should be YOUR decision, and one you should think about. Second of all, TANNING SALONS? Is the government fucking nuts? WHO CARES? You get the same damaging UV rays from direct sunlight, which as far as I know is still legal to those under 18.)
2000's: Tougher driving laws sweeping through states: full driving rights obtained gradually over a period of years. (This really, really makes me mad. So now at 18 someone won't even have a full drivers license. How much of these people's lives are we taking away?)
2000's: Dramatic increase in zero-tolerance rules in schools, resulting in suspension or expulsions for throwing spitballs, making gun gestures with hand, etc. (Okay, if someone brings a gun to school, thats one thing. A gun finger gesture, like as in, shoot me in the head this class is so pointless and boring, fucking let it go. Pick your battles people. Spitwads and finger gestures shouldn't be one of them.)
2000's: New procedures and laws making it easier to prosecute minors as adults. (Wait, wait back up here. So we are insisting that people of this age are children and shouldn't have any rights until they commit a crime. Then by God they are going to be treated as adults and must live up to their actions! Yeah, makes perfect sense to me. Note my sarcasm.)
*New rules prohibiting cell phones in schools or the use of cell phones by minors while driving. (OK, sometimes in high school, my cell phone was my only hope for a ride home, and secondly I've seen just as many 30 year old yuppies blabbing on cell phones while driving as I do teens.)
*Libraries and schools block access to Internet material by teens. (I'm pretty sure creepy 50-year-old men can look at "inappropriate material" at the library just as easily as a 16-year-old could.)
*New dress code rules in schools. (OK, whatever. School uniforms are bullshit, they make everyone look the same (note my earlier reference to herding cattle) and yeah, some girls are going to dress like sluts,but there are other solutions. If someone's butt cheeks are hanging out, send them home. If someone's breasts are dangerously bobbing out of their shirt, send them home. Its pretty simple. You don't need some communist "uniform" look to solve the slut problem.)
*New laws prohibiting teens from attending parties where alcohol is served, even if they themselves are not drinking. (This is horrifying. Doesn't SOMEONE need to be a DD? I've been to several parties where the underage person agreed to be the Designated Driver and stayed sober. Believe it or not, not every teen is so obsessed with alcohol that if they see a bottle of it they have an uncontrollable urge to get drunk. Show some trust and maybe teens will be more trustworthy.)
*New laws restricting teens' access to shopping malls. (OK, baloney. Shopping isn't "harmful" or "dangerous" to anyone. Besides if you're in the fucking mall there are security guards everywhere pretending to be all badass so what the hell kind of mayhem is going to happen in a mall?)
*Tracking devices routinely installed in cell phones and cars of teens. (Oooh. Tracking devices. Get a grip. If my parents did this to me I would have routinely left my cell phone at home and bummed rides off friends till I left for college. Is adolescence synonymous with probation now?)
*Proposals for longer school days, longer school year, and addition to grades 13 and 14 to school curriculum under discussion. (Oh yeah guys. Way to raise the dropout rate. Just dandy.)
OK, so I summarized the article and added plenty of my own commentary. You're probably wondering why I give a crap since I'm no longer a minor. Well, to tell you the truth I'm still affected by this. I'm sick of getting no respect because I haven't graduated from college yet. (Which I will.) I'm sick of being told I'm too young to do this and that, this and that. Too young? Bullshit. Recently a 16 year old from my hometown was killed in a terrible accident. If a 16 year old can be killed, just like that, out of the blue, dying without so many experiences, then a 19 year old could really be asking for it! I say live life! Experience as much as you can! Learn things! Take classes! Fall in love! Buy things! Rent your own place! Take trips if you have the money! Get drunk and learn what a hangover is! Start a family of your own! But do not simply wait, wait, wait to do everything because society has told you that you're too young. You never know when you could wake up dead.

Ummm...happy to be white and dirrty... (Tuesday, February 27, 2007)

Ok, this is something that has been bothering me. Why am I supposed to feel bad for being white? Is it not cool or something? Why are whites labeled as the ones who are racist when every other ethnic group puts us down and gets away with it. If a white makes racial jokes on TV or something, its terrible and they MUST BE STRUCK DOWN. If any other racial/ethnic group makes racial jokes about us, its supposed to be fuckin' hilarious! Someone, please explain this to me. Personally, I have NOTHING against other ethnic groups, but I'm happy being white. In fact, I love it. White guys and girls of the world, stand up for yourselves. Have some fucking pride! Don't let people put you down for your ancestry or your lack of pigment or whatever the fuck is supposed to be so uncool! Racism is so stupid.

Contrary to popular belief, I'm not broken... (Wednesday, March 29, 2006)

I just want to say....
thank you.
To these people:
The playground bullies that teased me mercilessly: Because of you, I now fight back when someone wrongs me. I take no shit from anyone, least of all punk ass little bitches like yourselves.
The people that were desperately searching for someone with imperfections to torment so they could feel better about themselves. In other words, the people who called me "fat" because I grew up faster than they did: Because of you, I worked out like a fiend. I burned away every last inch of unneeded flesh. My body is now sharp and angular, yet soft in places that attract male attention. My cheekbones are sharp and defined, as are my muscles. Most of you are now twice the size of me.
To the men who cheated on me: Because of you I now know the signs of a player, and I avoid those men like the plague. I have no tolerance for infidelity, and I smile with satisfaction knowing the fate of these so called "playaz." You may think you're cool now, but once you catch herpes or knock someone up who you've known for six hours and get sued for child support, your life isn't as glamourous.
To the users, abusers, and controllers: Because of you, I now know exactly what I want in a man. At the first sign of jealousy stemming from insecurity, I am out the door. I don't care if your mother left you or your ex cheated on you. Your childhood is over, and I am not either of them. I am me. I always give a significant other the benefit of the doubt. After all, in America, the standard is that you are innocent until proven guilty.
To those snobby "beautiful" girls who looked down their noses at me: Because of you, I know how to spot a true potential friend. They are the ones who don't care if you are having a bad hair day, or if you are wearing your designer duds or your scrub clothes, or if you have a "rich" family or a "nice" house or a "hot" boyfriend. A true friend will always see past the looks, the hair, the makeup, the possessions, to what is truly in your heart and mind. They won't ditch you at the first sign of trouble.
To my parents: You have been strict with me, but have instilled a set of values in me that I will never stray from again. You were there for me even when I was at my lowest, at a time when my life revolved around chemicals and depression. You will always love me, no matter what my faults are.
To my true friends: You have stood by me in times of family problems, financial problems, and mental health issues. You were there when we caused trouble together, but you supported me when I wanted to have a better lifestyle. You were always there to offer advice, a shoulder to cry on, and sometimes just listen, and in return, I have been there for you. Old friends and new friends, I love all of you.
To my boyfriend: Thank you for being there, for improving my life so dramatically. I know you get down on yourself, but you are such a great person. You know me better than I know myself, and sometimes that scares me, but it is wonderful at the same time. What our friends say is true. We are meant to be together.
If I have missed anyone, please let me know, and I will acknowledge them in future blogs if I have the time. I am at a somewhat troubling point in my life right now, but I have decided to buck up and count my blessings, instead of dwell on the bad stuff. Life is beautiful, even if it isn't always peachy.
Thank you for your time.

Things that are wrong with the world today (Thursday, February 02, 2006)

Ok, I'm sorry, but this has to be said. If you don't agree with me then fine, but don't bitch about it, I have the right to free speech just like everyone else:
I hate how only white people can be considered racists, when everyone is racist toward us. Its perfectly fine for black & hispanic comedians to make racial jokes about everyone, but if a white guy did it, he would immediately be shot down & called a racist. Its absolute bullshit. Plus, you can get scholarships & grants & stuff for being just about any other race besides white. If that isn't discrimination I don't know what is. I like being white, but that doesn't mean I discriminate against blacks, hispanics, asians, etc...I have friends of many different races, and I find it cool that each of us can have pride in our own race.
Political correctness. Its gotten to the point that nobody can say anything anymore. People should seriously grow a pair and get over it if they are offended. Seriously, if something offends you, it doesn't mean it offends EVERYONE. So stop crying. Please. Before everyone quits opinionating. Because isn't the right to free speech one of the things that makes this country great? Please, for the love of God and America, say what you really mean!
Feminism. And the fact that in order to be a "strong woman" you have to be a manly he-bitch. Boys and girls are different. Get over it. Sameness will never be achieved, because we are DIFFERENT. And thats the way it should be. Some things men do better than women, and some things women do better than men. There are always exceptions of course, but I do not think that we should be trying to create sameness between the sexes. That isn't realistic. We were built differently for a reason.
The whole gay thing. Just for the record, I have no problem with you if you are gay. If that is what you like, go for it! Do what you like, just don't tell me about it. Sex talk should be reserved for the bedroom and possibly your closest friends. I don't want explicit information about my straight friends' sexual lives, so why do you think I want to hear about yours? When you start identifying yourself as "gay" as some kind of subculture, I think you've gotten out of hand. I don't walk up to people and blurt out that I'm straight. I think that EVERYONE'S sex life should stay "in the closet." I mean, have you ever seen a "straight pride" parade? No. So please, if you swing on the other side of the fence, keep it to yourself. Its not a life style, its a sexual preference

Those of you...(Wednesday, January 18, 2006)

For those of you from my past...
If I have cut off contact with you, it is for the best. It means that you have hurt me and I have no desire to talk to you anymore. Please forget about me. If I am still in contact with you, feel very special. I have started a new life here. The past is gone, I am not the same person. Please do not bring it up, or I will cut you out of my life completely. I have made a few mistakes and learned from them. Lets leave it at that. Accept me as I am now. This is who I am today. Who I was two years ago doesn't matter. That part of me is gone. Dead. This is now. I am happy. Now let me be.